Angie's World :: Writing :: Poetry :: Fire in the soul Author Topic: Fire in the soul (Read 510 times)
bloodyrain Newborn Life - 1st (lowest) rank member is offline Joined: Sept 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 18 Location: Pennsylvania Karma: 0Fire in the soul « Thread Started on Dec 8, 2005, 7:53pm »
Fire in the soul *January 23, 2004* A fire inside my soul, Nowhere to go. Just Like a candle, It burns until it is gone. It doesn't affect me like you think, im just stronger than you. All I see is darkness, which will never turn to light, but I will never fear. It feels like I am skating through the dark, And keep on falling like you wanted. Tears in my eyes, thinking of all the pain. My heart is bleeding from life. Life is nothing but betrayal, Betrayal from everyone.
When you cut me in two, I never thought I would bleed ~Papa Roach, Sometimes My Forum:http://www.xmb-host.com/xmb/myforum-hellsfireandice.html Myspace:www.myspace.com/bloodyrain666 Xanga:www.xanga.com/bloodblackrosez
Angie All-Powerful Goddess - Admin (Staff)Angel of Music Yearning for Heaven member is offline Stay gold. Joined: Mar 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 707 Location: Okietown, U.S.A. Karma: 0Re: Fire in the soul « Reply #1 on Dec 9, 2005, 6:39pm »
I like the poem quite a bit. Constructive criticism: the flow seems kind of off (it might help if you had a similar amount of syllables in every line or every other line), and you should use "than" instead of "then" at the end of the first stanza. Other than that, it's great.
I'm your shadow on the wall, Walking one step behind you. I'm the wind in your hair, Whispering in your ear.
bloodyrain Newborn Life - 1st (lowest) rank member is offline Joined: Sept 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 18 Location: Pennsylvania Karma: 0
Angie All-Powerful Goddess - Admin (Staff)Angel of Music Yearning for Heaven member is offline Stay gold. Joined: Mar 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 707 Location: Okietown, U.S.A. Karma: 0Re: Fire in the soul « Reply #3 on Dec 14, 2005, 7:17pm »
Lol, you should post your later works. I would like to read (and possibly critique, it's what I do ) them.
I'm your shadow on the wall, Walking one step behind you. I'm the wind in your hair, Whispering in your ear.
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